You've Seen This Movie Waaaay Too Many Times When
by tranland
Summary: SO. You have seen this movie 9384748 times, have you? Read this and realize what you have done with your life. GOOD JOB!


HEY. I'M SORRY. I KNOW I'VE GOT A STORY TO WRITE. BUT I NEED A BREAK FROM AWKWARD LOVE AND A WRITE SOMETHING SNARKY AND FUNNY. YAY.

Yeah so uhh that's pretty much it. I got the idea from reading one based off of The Legend of Zelda. :3

I DON'T OWN THE LOST BOYS.

YOU KNOW YOU'VE WATCHED THE LOST BOYS TOO MANY TIMES WHEN:

1. Whenever someone asks you what you smell you say "it smells like someone died." And laugh manically.

2. You try and convince your Grandpa to get into taxidermy.

3. You adopt a giant husky and name it Nanook.

4. You try and go to as many beach concerts as possible, hoping to see a gypsy girl and a little boy run by so you can chase them.

5. You try and find the nearest comic book shop and ask if they sell Batman #14 or any issue of Destroy All Vampires.

6. You try and convince the manager of the comic book shop that they need to get addicted to drugs and have two kooky commando kids.

7. YOU NEVER TAKE A BATH ALONE.

8. If you have to take a bath alone, make sure to not sing any songs. God knows how vampires feel about singing.

9. You try and find the nearest gang of punks, and ask to 'be one of them'.

10. When/if said punks accept you, you tell them you won't eat any Chinese food they give you, but you want to drink the wine.

11. You hang off of a railroad track and let go once the train passes you buy. You'll only end up in bed, right?

12. You never want to drink milk.

13. You think that you need to hang out with the girl hanging out with the punk group and try and bang her. That's the whole reason Michael joined, so why can't you try and seem like an asshole?

14. Tell people that you're going to fix everything and then decide to fuck some person instead. That'll fix your virginity, but not much else.

15. Dress up like a kooky Rambo wannabe and open up a comic book shop that only sells vampire comics. Try to warn the general population about vampires but somehow magically avoid the mental institutions.

16. Camo clothing is a MUST.

17. You constantly try and write fanfictions where the characters are all perfectly in character and somehow succeed.

18. You can quote the entire movie by heart.

19. You know which actor plays whom in the movie, and you stalked at least one actor into their up-to-date lives.

20. You have The Lost Boys soundtrack on your music device and know all the lyrics to the songs.

21. Near your favorite scene you get ready to dive-bomb the television when it comes on.

22. You somehow are a favorite at school because the teachers think you're cool for watching the movie.

23. Until they realize you've watched it 928463847 times. Then they just think you're weird.

24. People start saying you are 'obsessed with vampires.'

25. To which you reply, "not those sparkly gay-ass vampires from Twilight, the real badass ones that only sparkle on the inside."

26. Resign to live your life in loneliness when you realize that no one digs movie nerds who spend all their time thinking about how amazing is.

27. When you realize that the eighties died a looong time ago, and with that the amazing world that was The Lost Boys.

28. Sink into a huge depression when you realize that Santa Carla actually doesn't exist.

29. Every time you visit the Boardwalk you go on the carousel and try to walk around on it.

30. Try to avoid Washington DC. Too many vampires.

31. Try to find a site online that allows you to become a priest. The holy water tax rate is going up, you've gotta do SOMETHING to save a little money.

Spanish class when the teacher asks for a twon/city with a Spanish name, immediately think of Santa Carla and then realize that it doesn't exist.

33. Say Santa Cruz instead.

34. Every time you see a person on a social networking site with the name Edgar, Alan or Sam you scream OHMYGOD VAMPIRE KILLERS and friend them.

35. Every time you see a person on a social networking site with the name David, Paul, Marko, Dwayne or Max you scream OHMYGOD THE VAMPIRES HOW ARE THEY STILL ALIVE and friend them.

36. Every time you see a person on a social networking site with the name Michael, Star, Laddie, or Lucy you laugh at their uselessness and block them.

37. You start to dress like a fashion victim.

38. Every time you see a cliff with DANGER and WARNING signs you ignore them completely and try to find the secret entrance into the cave.

39. You visit the Boardwalk as many times as possible, looking in the shops for Comic book stores and at night you prowl the beach looking for motorcycle gangs.

40. You waste half of your life writing fanfictions on The Lost Boys.

AND THAT IS ALL I HAVE FOR NOW. IF YOU LYKE, PLEASE READ SUBSCRIBE AND LEAVE ME SOME IDEAS THAT YOU WANNA SEE! THANKS!

~Byrneshadow


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